He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips. (Proverbs 20:19)
We don’t really use the term talebearer much in our modern language. It was an old English word that meant one who is spreading gossip or is constantly revealing secrets.
Proverbs 20:19 says that this talebearer is a destructive force that decimates relationships and undermines trust. Interestingly enough, it also likens flattery to the same destructive power. Why is that? Flattery, while sounding good and feeling good on the surface, really conceals someone’s ulterior motives and seeks to manipulate and deceive.
Over the years, I have met many “flatterers.” Can you recognize them? They try to convince you that you are the best thing since sliced bread, when in actuality they are “buttering you up” so they can ask you for a special favor, make you do what they want, or try to sway you away from God’s purpose for your life.
If the people around you aren’t willing to tell you, in love, when you mess up, they are not pulling for your success.
Also, do not be quick to tell everyone about every plan, every problem, and every pursuit of your life. Those things are reserved for those who can be trusted with holding you up and pushing you toward success.
If you do not live for the praise of men, you will not die when they criticize you.
Practical Application
Make sure that, as a friend, you speak words of grace, truth, and encouragement. Build people up, don’t tear them down, and don’t speak well of people with ulterior motives. How can you sow life with your words today?