Discipline, not Punishment
- Bishop Keith Butler
- Feb 8, 2023
- 2 min read
Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged. (Colossians 3:21)
Discipline is not punishment. When you are training your children, punishment may be appropriate at times, but punishment is not enough to teach your children properly. The term discipline means to teach or to train. Unfortunately, many parents do not use discipline to teach or train. They punish when they are angry and full of emotion, so there is no discipline happening, only punishment and fear. If you find yourself full of anger, that is not the time to discipline your child. It is the time to put them somewhere and allow yourself to calm down until you are at a place where you can calmly teach and discipline without allowing your emotions to control you.
In my generation, some parents would get angry and just knock their child down to the floor. That is not biblical discipline!
Paul was not saying to not discipline your children; he was saying not to do it in a format that leaves the child discouraged and angry. Yelling, belittling, or being overly critical when you speak to your children is abuse, not discipline. This is especially important in a world that is harsh and unforgiving. By loving and nurturing our children, we help them grow and thrive in trusting us as parents and trusting God as their Heavenly Father. You should ask yourself, “Am I training them or am I making them pay for what they did?” If you are simply making them pay, that is punishment without discipline and the Bible says that is wrong.
When parents exasperate children, they may follow you for a while out of fear, but they won’t want to continue what they have learned once they are away from your direct influence. Through the Holy Spirit inside of you, then you can interact with your children in peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self-control.
Practical Application
We must recognize the role our actions and words play in shaping the hearts and minds of our children. When we display the fruit of the Spirit, we help them build confidence and self-esteem, even when correcting and training them. Never discipline when you are emotional.
